my eye is twitching.
Last week, my left eyelid was twitching. This week, my bottom lip did it. According to my medical staff on twitter (aka, anyone who felt like weighing in), it means I'm stressed. I didn't think I was stressed when I got my twitter-diagnosis last week, but maybe it's a self-fulfilling prophecy because this week, it has hit me hard.
My mind is constantly buzzing with paintings I need to finish, custom pieces that I need to work on, emails that need to be returned, thank you notes that I want to write, people I don't want to let down, money that's being spent that could be saved, stupid health issues, Chris' job stresses. Not to mention things like that sink of dishes that's been neglected for a few days hours, which makes me feel like a bad wife when Chris gets home and they are still there. (Not that Chris thinks I am, I just project that on myself.)
Also, I'm home-sick. This time of year is always the hardest being away from the East Coast. Fall is my very favorite season and Maryland knows how to do it right. I start thinking about all the wonderful things I'm missing::
bright fiery trees,
the smell of decaying leaves,
jeans, boots, scarves,
pumpkin carving,
mornings where you can see your breath
and I start to get upset and start thinking about the really important things I'm missing like::
two nephews and a niece that I have yet to meet,
time with old friends,
watching our other 8 nieces and nephews grow,
helping my brother and sister-in-law move into their new home.
Hawaii is beautiful and we are incredibly blessed to live here, but sometimes it's just really hard to be away from the rest of our family.
Last night I was in such a funk, I walked around the house with a scarf over my head and asked Chris to make ramen for dinner since I had nothing planned and no plans to make anything. And then I ate pickles straight out the jar like they were popcorn. Weird.
I know so many of you may have similar stresses. Or maybe you have it even worse. One thing I've learned in this blogging world is not to assume anything. I don't assume that my problems are bigger than yours. On blogs, people can share as much or as little as they want. I know there are issues that are too personal to share on my blog just yet and so I have a feeling that many of you have hurts and stresses that you have yet to share.
I wish we could curl up across from each other on the couch over a glass of wine (ooh, or maybe a steaming cup of apple cider for me, since I'm missing fall so much) and commiserate. Until then, I'll take typing on a computer screen. Thanks for listening, friends. I 'ppreciate you.
In other, smilier news-- I added some new autumn-inspired paintings to the shop last night! Hop over to take a gander. More pretties will be listed later this week!
lindsay
this post made my heart frown for you. it will get better. the best piece of advise my momma ever gave me was there will always be people out there better off than you and people out there worse off than you. but everything is relevant. it just sometimes helps me put things into perspective when i'm feeling down. keep your head up. it sounds like you have a great shoulder to lean on in chris. use it whenever you need to.
ReplyDeleteI feel you, girl. I really, really do. I'm having one of those weeks too... thankfully, my eyes haven't started twitching yet. But they will. I'm gearing up for it... It's coming.
ReplyDeleteThis MIGHT help a little... It's been MISERABLE here in the tri-state area! Rainy and humid and GROSS! I'll admit, I love a good scarf, but the rain, no thanks!
If you're up for it... I'll totally trade lives with you for a week or so. :)
Sending you autumn thoughts,
Erica Lee
loopee.sixninefive.com
I can't even imagine what you're going through, but my heart goes out to you Lindsay. Being away from loved ones is so hard, especially during the holiday season. I hope you make it through this rough patch soon, if only so your eye stops twitching! :-P Also, love the fab paintings!
ReplyDeleteOh, Hawaii is beautiful, but I would definitely miss fall as well!
ReplyDeleteI am right there with you, girl! We have lived over 1500 miles away from our families during the 6 years we've been married. Sending you thoughts of pumpkins, apple cider, and cool weather. :)
ReplyDeleteI think your honesty is what I love most about your blog! And the most beautiful thing about your stressful time right now that is that there are so so many ways Jesus can come in and fill you up when everything else is kinda leaving you empty. Praying Lam. 3:24 for you!!! And hoping that silly eye twitch hits the road!
ReplyDeleteThis post made my heart ache for you. I can't say I know exactly what you're going though, only that I've been through similar and I know it is tough, so very very tough. But it takes a strong person to acknowledge it, just remember - your family is always there for you and your virtual one (a.k.a. twitter fans) are right by your side too. I hope and pray everything works out for you and your love! In the mean time, I'm sending cool fall breezes and apple cider your way.
ReplyDeleteYep, subconsciously, you are stressed... Missing family is hard, but you have your hubby... Call your family or skype that will ease some of the stress and you won't be in HI forever, eventually u will get back to where your family is.
ReplyDeleteI can relate to this more than you could ever imagine, Lindsay!
ReplyDeleteMy family (niece and nephew) are over 6000 miles away and I miss them terribly. When I look at the flight prices, my stomach flips.
And then there are all those things that I don't share on my blog (as you so wisely assumed!) and I feel your pain even more.
Hang in there. I wouldn't mind having a glass of hot apple cider with you though.
okay, i have to agree with you. it is so stinkin hot here that it definitely does not feel like autumn. which makes me hugely depressed.
ReplyDeleteoh and on another note-- pickles and ramen? do you have an announcement to make?? :)
I know exactly how you feel, in so many ways. When we were in Hawaii fall was the hardest time for me too. And we're in southern California now and it's still the hardest time of year. I love reading your blog because we have such similar sentiments about living in Hawaii and being married to a man in the military. But it's easy to be "over" Hawaii. I felt "over" Hawaii many, many times (even though I'm still homesick for it). Yes it's beautiful, but so are nieces and nephews and the fall and quality family time. It's easy to get in a funk when you have so much to miss, whether you're in Hawaii or the middle of the desert. Hang in there! Hugs!
ReplyDeleteoh girl i feel your pain. i've been in a major funk too...missing my friends and family back home. it's hard to even blog because you feel you have to be happy and sunshiney or you'll let people down. at least that's how i feel. i live close to maryland and it's still in the 80's, hot and humid. we've been covered with a heavy layer of clouds. so really you are not missing anything yet. i'm dying to bust out the jackets, boots and scarves too.
ReplyDeleteI've been a little funkified as of late myself. We've all been there. But here's the thing:
ReplyDeleteyou're ALLOWED.
It's ok to feel this way. And because I know you're naturally a happy, bubbly person and not Debbie Downer, I also know it's going to pass.
So eat some pickles and wallow. Just remember to bounce back. :)
Sending hugs your way!
Weird cravings?! Preggo ??! Hahaha jk ;-)
ReplyDeleteI completely get ya!! Us military wives gotta stick together. I have an idea, we can like start some little gift giving buddies and send each other little packages to help with homesickness! I'll be happy to send ya some fun fall favorites to enjoy :-)
Considering that Autumn is my favorite season you know I am adoring this new series of yours!
ReplyDeleteLindsay :( I completely get being in a funk. I nearly jumped off my couch when I read the part about you having your hubs make ramen for dinner last night because I DID THE SAME THING tonight. I skipped my work out class, prompted changed into sweats, and parked it on the couch. I wouldn't have even eaten tonight if my hubby didn't make me the ramen. Its definitely hard when things aren't going the way you want/need them to, but you know that you aren't alone - aside from all of the great blogger support, you have the greatest Comforter of them all on your side, something I know I take for granted and sometimes forget when things are going well. Let Him carry you through this difficult time. Sending you some fall-love from the midwest <3
ReplyDeleteAw dearie! I know the feeling. Sometimes we take on a lot of things. And usually they are good and bring us joy. But sometimes it can all seem overwhelming. No harm in taking a break. Feel better soon!
ReplyDeleteHugs, hugs, hugs to you, sweet girl! Being stationed far from home is something I can relate to! I wish I could buy you a plane ticket right now. It's totally OK to let yourself be sad, but leaning on your wonderful hubby and your faith will keep you strong. I hope everything, even the things you haven't shared with us, work themselves out for the best. I hope it made you feel a little better to write this post. You have lots of good vibes coming your way from all of us, can you feel them?
ReplyDeleteI feel the same way right now! Being stationed in Hawaii is nothing to complain about, but it's hard this time of year for me too because fall is also my favorite season, and it's always more difficult to be this far away from family near the holidays. In fact, I just wrote some similar posts on my blog!
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear about your mood lately. I've been the same. It's nice to know when I'm not alone. Thanks for being so real. I hope you feel better! Tomorrow is a new day.
ReplyDeleteugh - i was feeling that way in Maui when we lived there - and now im feeling that in San Diego - our new home - except now I don't have the friends and "family" we had over there! HARD. I feel ya sister, I hope it gets better for you - I hope you are able to get all those things done so you can be stress free and enjoy a day at the beach with your husband :) Ps. I have been reading your blog for a long while now :) love it. Also love it now that we are homesick for maui :)
ReplyDeleteLoving your new fall colors, they are beautiful!
ReplyDeleteand don't worry I get the twitchies too sometimes :)
oh sweetie, i'm sorry it has been so hard for you recently! I have the opposite problem you do - there are times of year when I yearn to be back in Hawaii because that is home for me the way the East Coast is for you. But I know that the Lord will comfort you and strengthen your heart and help keep you where you are. And you are there for "such a time as this" (Esther 4.14). May God use you mightily and bless you for it! Praying for you, my sister!
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear that you're homesick. I can relate to that to some degree as I used to live a 5 minute drive from my family and saw my sister's kids every week. For the past 3 years I've been living around 200 miles away from them (not quite as far as you (!) but far enough away to mean I don't see them that often). It takes some adjusting and there are lots of good things in my new life to be grateful for and which I would never give up. Still, it doesn't make it a lot easier when you miss the people and places that are so close/familiar to you. I hope you feel a little less stressed soon - love your latest paintings btw! :)x
ReplyDeleteMy husband and I considered him taking a job 5 hours from where we live now. Thankfully he didn't get the job because the more we think about it, the more we'd hate to be away from our families when our little one arrives in January. I'm sure that being away from everyone is very hard. I know it's hard for me sometimes when we have family two hours away and I still miss birthdays and holidays because now we split them between our families.
ReplyDeleteI would love to sit down and enjoy some warm apple cider with you. If you don't mind a messy apartment.
Yeah that housewife thing, I haven't been super great at yet. Praying God will make me better at it soon. My poor husband.
*hugs* friend
Hugs to you, friend!
ReplyDeleteI had the twitching eye thing too when I was in grad school and getting ready for my wedding and dealing with a couple other stressful things!
ReplyDeleteAs far as autumn is concerned, here in Connecticut it is rainy, 80 degrees, humid, and gross. Oh, and it has been for the past couple weeks. So you're not missing anything awesome :)
First of all, my eye was twitching for two days this week also.
ReplyDeleteSecond, I am SO homesick! Then again I just moved from beautiful Portland, Oregon to stupid LA but even though it's a good thing it still doesn't mean we don't get sad sometimes.
Third, I do the same thing with the dishes. FEEL BAD, All the time. Especially because my man is working like 12hr days and I'm at home. Shouldn't I be able to be wonder woman and get all my work done, the house cleaned, AND a hot meal out by the time he arrives? Nah. It's ok.
And I feel your heart BIG time on the snuggling up together and sharing. The hardest thing for me about this move is that I have NO one here that I know. I love my man but I need some good girl talk once and again.
So let's do it. I love emailing so feel free to share anytime.
beautifulblendings@gmail.com
www.beautifulblendings.blogspot.com
Ohh I so hope you didn't take the comment I wrote the other day about how lucky you are to live in such a beautiful place in a negative way :/ Because, I do agree, totally that living away from family has go to be really, really hard. As a family girl myself, I get it.
ReplyDeleteI know what you mean, feeling like you're missing out. I get kind of depressed about winter in the same way so fall can really make me sad. And hey, write about all of your complaints and your frustrations, it's your blog! <3
ReplyDeleteLindsay, hope you are able to find some down time and get in some good relaxation. I can totally relate-- this week has been hectic. 160 grades due for my students' progress reports, the deadline for the novel I was editing was on Thursday, and lots of orders in my Etsy shop in addition to a HUGE custom order! All that and I came home Friday to piles of rocks, sand, and pavers for our back yard patio and spent an hour and a half shoveling the stuff into our yard. Finally had to take a time out so we went out to dinner and made time for relaxation. Hope you're able make time to do the same! By the way, fall weather started just today in Baltimore-- I'll send some fall weather vibes your way. :)
ReplyDeleteoh friend. i am so sorry you feel this way; that's the devil trying to worm his way into your life. he's trying to take you away from all the joy & sunshine you bring everyone else, not only hurting you but other in the process. i'm sorry...and i'm praying! :) smile some this weekend, mkay?
ReplyDeleteAt my house we could curl up over sweet tea... its much too warm still for hot cider :)
ReplyDeleteMy body always knows its stressed long before I'm conscience of it. I hope that you get a chance to relax and let the worries run away. I don't know any secrets to getting rid of them or I would totally share.
I do know that being away from family is hard and phone calls can only do so much... I will be praying for you this fall!