Thoughts on Deployment

So, it's here again. The D word. I hate deployment. Chris is set to leave in a few weeks and my heart sinks lower in my chest whenever I think about it.

I hate being alone. Oh, some nights it's nice when Chris has to work late or when he has duty. But being alone in this house for months on end can be depressing to say the least. Last year, I went to the commissary the week Chris left and found myself crying in the Mexican food aisle. The sight of Chris' favorite enchilada sauce and the realization that I wouldn't be making it for him for a long time pushed me over the edge.

When he's home for months on end, I sometimes forget how much I relish his presence until it's time for him to leave again.

How he always offers to drive {cuz I hate it}.

How he scarfs a muffin in one bite when he forgets he's NOT among his four brothers. And then looks at me bashfully with his mouth stuffed and crumbs tumbling down his chin. {And I crack up laughing at him.}

How he surfs for hours on the North Shore, and then talks for hours about the waves he surfed and his eyes light up because the Navy's not his 'mistress' but the ocean might certainly be.

How his voice sounds mingled with mine as we sing praises together at church.

So, yeah, deployment sucks, if I may say so eloquently.

But I'm determined to make the best of it.

I'm going to visit my family in MD and soak up the light and laughter of my 8 (almost 10) nieces and nephews.

I'm going to help host two fabulous baby showers (and pine for one of my own someday).

I'm going to train. Hard. And I'm going to complete a triathalon.

I'm going to paint my fingers off. And love every moment of it.

I'm going to hit 50 sales in my Etsy shop. Heck, I might even hit 100 if I feel like it!

I'm going to dig into the Word and grow my relationship with Jesus like never before.

I'm sure every military wife has heard this--"Wow, you are so strong, I don't think I could ever do that" I know I hear it alot. But the truth is, I'm NOT strong.

But my God is. 

And even when I feel like this life is so crazy and I hate being alone, I'm not really.

Because He says,

" For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you a hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. " Jer. 29:11-13

So, deployments are tough. And it hurts to say goodbye to Chris. But there's hope. And there are good things mixed in there with the tough things.

As deployment starts, I'll probably be including more journal-like posts about what's going on with me through the week. Chris checks in on my blog and I told him I'd write more about my days for him. And according to my survey, you guys like the [here and there] posts too, so you'll be getting more of those!
Don't worry, I've also got lots planned in the way of DIY projects, inspiration posts, sponsor posts and some great guest bloggers coming up too. :)

And here's a pretty picture for getting all the way through this rambling post. This is part of the mountain range we hiked on Saturday. Pretty, yeah?