an unexpected trip.
So, this week has turned out much different than I was expecting just a few days ago.
On Friday, Chris got a call giving him the opportunity to travel to the Pacific for a diving job for a few weeks.
On Monday, he was told that he'd be leaving on Wednesday and that he would probably be gone for a few months.
I dropped him off at the airport last night and it's just starting to sink in that we're here at this ugly "deployment" place again. The worst part of it all is the unexpected nature of it. We knew that with this job, he would have these unexpected opportunities arise, but didn't expect a trip so long and sudden for another few years.
We have two deployments and many tough separations (my semester abroad in Spain, his month-long hiking expedition in Alaska, my 6 months living in Mexico) under our belt, but there's something completely different about this one. Two days notice, (not enough time to even get the car maintenanced) the daunting task of parenting alone, and no homecoming date to focus on makes me feel a bit helpless this morning.
I have shed many many (many) tears this week, and the shirt that Chris was wearing as he took off on that airplane last night was soaked with most of them (and maybe a little snot... he's a good guy). But really horrible days like these make the blessings (even the tiniest ones) shine through all the more.
This morning I am thankful for girlfriends who text and call in the middle of the night to check up on me, for sweet Silas smiles and how easy he just went down for his morning nap, and the flowers that Chris bought me before he left, which are sitting right in front of me as I type.
And I'm thankful for the sustaining power of the Word. I received many verses from sweet IG and twitter friends over the past few days and last night before bed, I poured over those verses and reminded myself that though it really feels like it at moments, I am not in this alone. There is One who has every moment of my day in His hands.
So, I may be AWOL for a few days. OR you may see me here more than often. Not sure how it will go, but just want to focus on getting adjusted to all of this.
Plus, I've gotta spend some time buying up all the chocolate in town.
Big hugs, Lindsay! I know how tough this will be for you. Maybe you can use it as an opportunity to go visit your family again soon.
ReplyDeleteOh dear me. I can't imagine. I'll be praying for you! I just realized that my hubs will be gone 10 of 12 days, and probably keep a schedule like that, for much of the baby's first 3 months of life. It's overwhelming to me, so the whole husband-actually-gone thing sounds super rough! Here's hoping we both figure out how to do this thing!
ReplyDeleteI know how tough it can be, especially when you have to take over the parenting on your own for a while, but I know you can do this! Thinking of you and sending hugs xxx
ReplyDeleteOh man, this is tough! Hang on tight, keep trusting in the strength God to carry you through, and do what you need to do to take care of YOU so you can take good care of Silas. HUGS!
ReplyDeleteOh no-- that would be really overwhelming for me as I really crave that in-person connection daily. I'm kind of new around here… what does Chris do for a living?
ReplyDeleteBest of luck getting through this sucky time, but girl... I think you've got this stuff down. You are strong and independent, and you've done it before... what's another one, right? :) Prayers for you and your little, adorable fam!
ReplyDeleteSending you thoughts and strength for the next few months. I can't imagine how hard it is for you, but you are a strong woman and you can handle this! :)
ReplyDeleteReading this makes me cry!! I feel so much empathy lol hang in there!!
ReplyDeleteMy family will be praying for yours! This time around you have a beautiful baby boy to focus on :)
ReplyDeleteI wish I could say that I understand how you're feeling, but I really don't. But if I was in your situation, I would probably be having the same exact thoughts. I DO, however, know that God is good and He get you through this! Praying for you, girl!
ReplyDeletei cannot even imagine...I pray you are covered in peace and rest during this time. The Lord will carry you!!
ReplyDeletepraying for you continuously!!!
ReplyDeleteDeployments suck, especially sudden ones. I hope the time goes quickly for you.
ReplyDelete*hugs* Sending you good thoughts lady!
ReplyDeleteThanks for writing from your heart, Lindsay. I truly love and admire how candidly you are able to convey your emotions on here. Believing Philippians 4:19 for you today-- that our God will provide everything you need in this hard, sad, overwhelming season of life according to the riches found only in Jesus Christ. He is faithful and good, press into this time and let the Lord meet you where you are. Praying for you friend, and know that (though it doesn't make it any easier) I will be walking this road with you in a couple of weeks.
ReplyDeleteI love your honesty and attitude about this. My husband and I are facing our first deployment in the coming months. I am trying to stay positive but still dreading it completely. Reading your real words about your situation make it seem a little more approachable - it's always nice to realize you're not completely alone in these situations. Wishing you and Silas the best.
ReplyDeleteSo tough but you're SO strong. Lots of love and prayers to you sweet lady!
ReplyDeleteSo much thoughts and prayers for you and Silas. As well as for Chris, that he has a good but very safe trip and can get you a return date soon! I can't imagine your emotions, but I know this is going to make you one of those incredible, strong women that Silas is going to admire. He's going to watch you and learn what a woman should be and you're going to be the woman he compares all women to. I know that's far off from now, but I just know that you're going to teach that sweet baby boy of yours a lot more than some women can who have never gone through things like this. My love to you all! xo
ReplyDeletethinking about you and the little one while your hubs is away!
ReplyDeleteThinking about you and your adorable little guy during this difficult time! Enjoy all that chocolate - you deserve it:)
ReplyDeleteUgh, how horrible. I can imagine that this is really tough, especially right now but it sounds like you've got through similar things in the past so I'm sure you'll get through this period too. I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers - all 3 of you. xxx
ReplyDeleteIt's the little things - enjoy your chocolate. And if you need more, I know a great place up here in the NW that's local and delicious! I'll send you some :) prayers for you all
ReplyDeleteI don't know what to say, but I do know how to give virtual hugs, so... ((hugs)).
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ReplyDeleteI'm sorry! I'm sending hugs you way and prayers
ReplyDeleteI'm praying for you! My husband has been gone for 3 months, with 6 more months to go and I am 37 weeks pregnant. Deployments are hard, they suck actually, but knowing that "All things work together for good for those who love the Lord" has been sustaining me and I know will leave me content in the upcoming months of going through labor alone and being a single mom. I pray that for you as well. :)
ReplyDeletePraying for you! As as Army wife I know how you feel! ♥
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