crying over blueberry bagels.

I cried over my blueberry bagel and iced coffee a few mornings ago. My breakfast had nothing to do with why I was crying. It was a perfectly delicious toasted bagel smothered in whipped cream cheese. But life is starting to feel a bit overwhelming lately, and pregnancy hormones or not, I needed a good sob into my bagel. 

We have almost one week until Chris hands in his thesis. (insert celebration emoji here!) Two weeks until we head up to Ottawa to search for our next home. Almost a month until he graduates MIT. Six short weeks until we hand the keys to our home over to our new renters and head to Canada for two years. Six weeks until everything changes, and we start over in a new country, a new city, in a new home, with new friends and a new church. Actually, saying I'm feeling overwhelmed is an understatement. 

The day we moved into our home. So much has changed since then! 

Moving is daunting. Not to mention doing it while pregnant, to a foreign country, with two kids whose lives are about to uprooted and there's no good way to prepare them. Oy. 

But even deeper than the logistics to be worked out, I think my main discomfort in all this is that -- I'm comfortable right now! We've had almost three years in this house. A house we prayed for, and the Lord provided. A house that feels like OURS, like it was built for us. We've had almost three years in this city- one that we've loved exploring, discovering and becoming a part of. Chris' schedule while in school has been a fairly easy one, at least in comparison to his days on a ship in Hawaii-- he makes his own hours, and works from home most of the time. 

And soon, all of that will change. We're about to get uncomfortable again. It makes me think of the months right before I gave birth to Silas. I was enjoying pregnancy, as much as one can with a big 'ol belly and swollen feet. I was getting pretty used to those things actually. And then, out of nowhere, it hit me. I had to get this baby OUT. Like, there was no turning back from here- he was coming out one way or another. Yikes. 

So, the labor is starting over here. Moving labor... sorry, this is a weird metaphor, but maybe you get what I mean. It's gonna get uncomfortable around here. There are so many unknowns about the whole thing that I'm going a little crazy. 

I guess most blog posts have a point to them these days. A "sponsored by" at the end, or an affiliate link or two. A helpful tip or a list you can pin to Pinterest. I got nothing for you in that regards. Just rambling, which I haven't done in a long time in a Blogger window, and it feels good. 

But you know, in the same way that God worked in all the details of Silas' birth, and brought us through the other side with a healthy little almost-10 pound chunker- I'm expectant that He'll do the same for this move. He's a God of the details, and He's a personal God who loves me, and loves Chris, and loves our kids. He's steadfast and unchanging when there is nothing unchanging in this world. We're not guaranteed that life will be simple, that it will be comfortable or smooth. 

So, for the next six weeks, you'll find me cleaning out one junk drawer at a time, making one insurance phone call at time, praying through the stress, and leaning on the One who doesn't change.