Gratitude

 The countdown is slowly ticking down. Whenever I talk to people about the timeframe for Chris' return, they say, "Oh, that's so close!" And I guess it is compared to how long he's been away, but I can't help but wish away the days sometimes. Each morning when I wake up to a new day, my very first thought is that I am one day closer to seeing Chris. 

I'm amazed and incredibly grateful at the way God has provided for me emotionally, spiritually, physically and relationally over the past few months. During my times studying in Spain and living in Mexico, there were months on end where the pain of loneliness felt like too much to bear. Sometimes I'm not sure why God brought me through those painful times but I know that it was not in vain. 

{acapulco, mexico}

When Chris was preparing to leave in January, I was terrified that I was entering another lonely stretch in my life. I remembered the pain from those times in the past and I dreaded the day he was to leave. All the same situations were in place-- I was across the globe from my family, I was away from Chris with limited communication, I was living alone. 

But our God is a merciful God and there is no way I can compare the past few months to the times of loneliness I spent in Spain and Mexico. 

Yes, there are days when I think the tears will never stop. 

Yes, there are moments when my heart feels so heavy without Chris there. 

Yes, I hate living alone and I can't wait to share my home with my husband again.

But God has given me so much joy through this deployment. He's helped me to grow, to become more independent and to do things I never thought I would be able to do on my own. He's provided amazing friends and He brought us to this place that truly feels like home. 

And He's done all this simply because He loves me. Because you know, I'm really awful at getting into the Word on a regular basis. And sometimes (like right now), I can't even find my Bible because I haven't read it for days. So, it's not like He's rewarding me or anything. It's nothing that I'm doing. He just loves me. 

So, thank you so much for reading my blog, for leaving comments and encouraging my creativity. But mostly, thank you for your prayers for me and for Chris. We feel them. 

Now will you just get home already Chris??